One amazing month....

Today is July 25th... One month post surgery!  Ezekiel is growing so quickly and is much more alert as we are quickly approaching his due date!  At his 1 month check up, he was 7lbs. 3 ozs!
I am starting to feel like we are getting back to "life as normal" (or at least as normal as it was before all this)!  We have gone out 3 times this week... and although I come home feeling like I got hit by a bus - we are making it work!  The older kids have been so helpful when I need to just lie down for a bit.  The 4 younger ones (ages 5 and under) have also started "settling" again - praise God!  Everytime I put a prayer request out there... God answers it almost immediately!  We are so blessed!
Now... to get the school room organized so that we can start school!  Shortly after moving, I was put on bed rest, and never got to finish organizing the school/playroom.  I like structure.  I like organization.  I like everything to have a home (and be in it)!  I have been stretched A LOT in that area over the last couple of months... and I have survived!  However, I am feeling the "need" to get it done now.  It seems that every "milestone" I pass (surviving 3 times out with all 8 kids in the last 5 days), it encourages me to press on!
We have decided to go visit some good friends that live in Georgia!  This is a trip we had planned last year, but cancelled, not thinking it was going to be possible with all that was going on with me.  And now, glory to God, I am well and feel good enough to take a road trip with the whole gang!  We are all excited to see our friends and to just get away and enjoy each other!  Now... To pack x10!!!
This Sunday, Pastor Tom has asked me to share my testimony in front of church.  I am excited to share ALL that God had done in the last couple of months, but am terrified of sharing from stage!  I can write all day... But to be in the spotlight is not my thing!  What is encouraging is that God will be glorified and His word says that if He is lifted up, He will draw men to Him!  It is amazing to see that God has grown my faith tremendously over the last month!  It has truly been a whirlwind of craziness and I haven't had the "quiet time" with God that I am used to (mostly because if I sit down somewhere quiet... I fall asleep), but feel so blessed and so overwhelmed by what He has done for me - knowing I didn't deserve any of it!  God is so good!  So so good!!!  It blessed me beyond belief to see that my 17 year old daughter (also an introvert) is going to get on stage and play and sing a piano solo to the song "Victory is in the Blood" after I share my testimony!  And it was her idea!  To those of you that know Dakota, this is nothing shy of a miracle!  It is so amazing how God works!  Please pray that I would share what God wants me to share... Nothing more and nothing less!  Also, please pray for peace and confidence for myself and Dakota as we both step WAY out of our comfort zones!  I pray that God would continue to be glorified as we share and that He would use this testimony as a means to show His unfailing love to anyone that's faith is weak... cause that was me a month ago!
This is probably my last post... At least for awhile!  I am still working on thank you cards (I've bought 3 packs and am still thinking of others to thank)... for the many that helped make this last month go so smoothly!  I honestly don't know what we would have done without the body of Christ pouring into our family when we needed it most!  Thank you... Your love and service (and yummy meals) have meant more then you know!  May God bless you, my friends!
PS - I started this post on the 25th, but I think it's the 28th now (yeah, life is back to normal)!

Two weeks....

Yesterday, my little guy turned 2 weeks old!!!  Can you believe it?  Me neither!  The last month has been a whirlwind of emotions, trials, and triumphs!  I would have never believed that I would be where I am now just after 2 weeks since my surgery!  God is so good!

I am feeling amazingly well considering all that my body has endured the past couple of weeks.  I've been back to the hospital 3 times since I was discharged 1 week ago.  Twice for more blood clots (all superficial - thank you Jesus) and once for infection in my incision.  The infection was just surface (not an abscess - praise God again) and is almost completely healed now.  I am not in any pain as long as nobody touches my incision, or my leg where the clots are (which is actually more painful then the incision)!  I am so ready to get back to "life" as normal!  Sooooooo ready!  However, my body is not!  I am worn out so easily and the "simple" daily tasks of a family of 10 are still proving to be more then I can handle... most days.  My hemoglobin is still really low, so it would probably help if I actually got some sleep!  Maybe next year!  I am also still having some bladder and bowel issues, but that's more then I want to go into right now.  I am hoping/praying that all that resolves itself soon!!!  

I have also been really emotional about Ezekiel being my "last" baby.  I thought that I had already mourned all that stuff while I was pregnant, but now that he's here and the surgery is done... It's so real and final.  I have sooo very much to be thankful for, yet my heart aches knowing that I will never again carry another baby inside of me.  The crazy thing is... I don't like being pregnant (especially the last 3)!  But, I LOVE babies!  Not like some people love babies... I really really LOVE babies!  I have since I was itty bitty myself!  All I ever wanted was to be a mom and have lots of kids (I always said 14 when I was younger - and would still have 14 if I could)!  I LOVE being a mom!  I LOVE watching my little people grow into who God created them to be!  I LOVE seeing their different personalities, strengths, and weaknesses!  I LOVE teaching and training and learning all the while - having learned as much from them as they have learned from me!  Children require A LOT of dying to yourself... and as crazy as that sounds - I LOVE that!  It is what God uses to keep me humble, tender, and selfless!  There's nothing more humbling then having children and nothing else that will make you cry out to God for His help and direction then to feel "responsible" for raising the next generation of world changers!  Oh God, make me all that they need me to be... and You be the rest!!!  As I've been struggling with the "last baby" thing the last couple of days... I feel so ungrateful... yet, I'm not!  I am SO thankful for all I have and all that God has done over the past couple of weeks!  Wow, I sound hormonal!!!  Can I still blame hormones without a uterus?  Lol!  Anyways, we have always had the desire to adopt again, so maybe that is where God is leading... Or maybe Ezekiel is our last baby.  Either way, I am striving to be content and enjoy every minute (well, maybe not 1 am, 3 am, and 5 am) with my littlest buddy!  :)

Ezekiel is the sweetest, easiest, cutest little guy!  He hardly ever cries, and aside from having his days and nights a little mixed up... He is so easy!  He has just slipped right into the family and has won his spot in everyone's heart!  Luckily, I am nursing, or I would never get the chance to hold him!  He had his 2 week check-up and is a whooping 5 lbs. 14 ozs.  He looks so big in pictures, but he is really a lil tiny guy... And really cute!  :)

The kids are settling again... But the last month has taken it's toll on everyone.  Especially my "sensitive to change" little guys.  They're insecurities are slowly becoming more "secure" again... But it has taken a lot of love and discipline the last week!  Please pray for their little hearts to be settled... And for us (Tom and I) to have the wisdom to know when they need what!  

I am so thankful that we serve a faithful God!  I am so thankful for the continued meals, support, and love that we have received!  I am blessed beyond belief!!!!  I am excited to live in the moment despite the limitations of life right now!  I am excited for the future and feel that my faith is stronger then ever!  We serve a mighty God... That loves us MORE then we love our children!!!  That's a lot of love!  

Home - Sweet (yet, loud) - Home

We are home!!! I am slowly acclimating to the loudness of a small house with a lot of people!  It's amazing what 9 days of quiet can do... After years of being used to all the busyness of lots of kiddos! I'm incredibly tired, a little grumpy (kids keep climbing on me causing great pain), and I have a headache, but I'm home... We are home!!!  Our family of 10 is all together for the first time!  Praise God!
The kids are enthralled with their new baby brother!  Especially Judah!  He is so cute and keeps asking all kinds of questions... trying to grasp the miracle of birth in his 2 year old little mind.  I've added a video we took of him shortly after coming home... So cute!  All of the kids have been begging to hold Ezekiel constantly... To the point where I had to say nobody gets to hold him (ever)!  Feeling a little protective of this little guy that has already been through so much!  And maybe slightly hormonal (just a little)!
Ezekiel is doing great!  Nursing and sleeping, and not minding the constant "petting" or loudness in the least.  I'm sure he finally feels "at home", familiar with all these noises from his many months inside of me!  He has been awake a good portion of his time home... And he is soooo cute!!!
I am excited to get back to normal "life", but I know that my body still needs time to recover.  I thought that it was the pain meds making me tired all the time, but I am off of them, and still feel drained from the slightest bit of activity.  Please pray that I can "lay low" the next couple weeks, so my body can recover.  Anyone that knows me, knows I don't do "lay low" or "light activity" well!  I feel great (other then tired, hormonal,  and headache today) and keep forgetting that I just had some pretty major surgery!  My tummy is still very sensitive to the touch and my leg (where the blood clots are) is very tender and sore.
Dakota has been AMAZING keeping up the house, laundry, and many visits to the hospital!  She is such an incredible young lady!  I appreciate her more then words can say!  Also, after spending the last week in NICU, she has decided to pursue going to school to become a NICU nurse!  Isn't it incredible to see God bringing such beauty from the pain and "unknowns" of the last month?!?  She would be a perfect NICU nurse and we have been praying that God would show her what to do next - she's a senior this year!

The rest of the kids all survived their "vacation".... But I can tell there is a "settling" that I am home.  At least 1 of them (can't mention any names) hadn't showered since I left 9 days ago!  How that happened... I'm not sure!  I'm sure much more went on (they've admitted to chips for breakfast, soda and candy galore, and all sleeping in my room with Daddy) that may never be heard!
We have been incredibly blessed with all the meals, child care, prayers, gifts, visits, and support!  I can't express how much it has meant to me!  Thank you again to all those that helped in any way!  There has still been talk about writing up a medical report about the success of my surgery.  I am so excited that other women with placenta accreta will hopefully benefit from the prayers, tears, research, unity, and work that went into planning, prepping, and performing the surgery!  NO blood transfusion needed is truly a miracle!  NO ICU!  To God be the glory!  I pray that He would be lifted up whenever or however it is written!
I also found out that after doing a biopsy on my uterus and placenta (for better understanding of this condition) that the placenta was only 1 mm from "breaking through" my uterine muscle in 2 separate areas, which could've been really bad!  Praise God that Dr. Sullivan stepped in and planned surgery when he did!
I keep remembering little (but big) things that I've heard over the last week or so that just make me stand in awe of our God!  And, I still see the number 17 EVERYWHERE!  Victory!!!!

There's no place like home...

After 9 days in the hospital... I just got the news that we are coming home tomorrow!!!!  I have met some of the most amazing people in the world during my many days of testing and my prolonged stay!  Dr. Sullivan has been incredible, and truly has a heart for his patients!  We need more doctors like him!

I am slowly weening myself off the pain meds AND I got my staples out today!  Note to self: next time (which hopefully there is never a next time) ween yourself off pain meds AFTER they remove your staples! OUCH!  I still hurt quite a bit, but it is tolerable... most of the time!  Also, I pooped!  I can't believe I am writing that on a "blog" that has over 4,000 hits... But....lol!!!

Anyways, I am still AMAZED at the turn of events in the last 9 days... And so looking forward to continuing to shout the testimony of the goodness of my God!  For He has given us the VICTORY!  

Ezekiel is doing fantastic!  What a little trooper he is!  He does NOT like getting his diaper changed and has made that known by peeing on anyone who tries!  He is nursing well and is "acting" like a newborn instead of a preemie (when technically he should still be in utero for another 5 weeks)!  He is so cute - I could just stare at him all day (if only I could stay awake)!  Tomorrow, he has a couple more simple "tests" and then we will work on discharge stuff!  So exciting!  I know Judah is going to be thrilled to meet his new baby brother (everyone else has met him, but Judah was too little to go in NICU).  

As expected, (see blog post "fear"), the kids have really enjoyed the last 9 days with little structure, lots of candy, late nights, lots of movies mom would never allow, and they have forgotten what a shower, fruit, or vegetable is!!!!  However, they are all alive and well and excited for us to come home!  When one of my friends dropped off food I asked her if the kids were eating candy and watching movies (half joking), and she said "no, they are eating marshmellows"!  Much better!  As soon as I told Tom that we are coming home tomorrow, he panicked!  When I asked him what he was doing a little later... He said "cleaning like crazy"!  What a good husband!  I can't imagine what the house looked like!  Many thanks to all those that pitched in and lent a helping hand during the last several weeks!  I know my family greatly enjoyed all the company, food, and outings! And I know it took a huge burden off of Tom's already heavy laden shoulders!  May God pour out blessings on you, as you have so blessed us!!!

Sooooo... That's the "news" for today!  It's all good!  My cup runneth over!!! Praise The Lord!  :)

Israel with Ezekiel :)

Daddy holding baby (he doesn't do "well" with newborns - he wants them to wake up and "play" with him - And really makes me nervous with preemies)!  Lol

Dakota with Ezekiel - I think she may has held him as much as me!  I love her heart to serve (especially when it comes to holding babies)!

May the Lord answer you when you are in distress; may the name of the God of Jacob protect you. May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed. May we shout for joy over your victory and lift up our banners in the name of our God. May the Lord grant all your requests. (Psalm 20:1, 4, 5 NIV)

Blood clots, bowel blocks, and staples - O my!!!

There is soooo much to write, and so many amazing reports - I think God is now "showing off" knowing that He is getting the glory!!!! Praise Him!

Every time I sit down to write on the blog... I fall asleep thinking about what to write (I'm slightly sleep deprived)!  So this time, I'm not thinking first, just writing - consider yourself warned!  

First off, my little miracle boy is doing amazing!  He is off of oxygen and Cpap and is nursing like a pro!  He is so sweet and "smiles" constantly in his little "fat and happy" state after he nurses!  We are free to hold him whenever we want and they are moving him to the "going home soon" side of NICU tonight!  I walked in this morning and saw him "tube free" in the nurses arms drinking a bottle and started crying tears of joy and thanksgiving!  What a testimony God has already given this little angel!  Glory to God!!!!  

I have had a few setbacks... But so far it has kept me here, close to Ezekiel (right where I need to be)!  I had a bowel blockage from the surgery.  The blockage has cleared (confirmed by x-ray this morning) however, "things" still are not moving, so please pray that my system would start working how it was intended!  My hemoglobin is on the rise, so that is wonderful and I can "feel" the difference 1 "point" makes - our bodies are incredible!  We had a little blood clot scare today that almost got me feeling defeated.  Almost!  After running some tests, they found that the clot is in a "superficial" vein (one that doesn't lead to the heart, lungs, or brain) and can just be treated locally!  Praise God once again!  I think He keeps testing me to see if my first response is faith or fear.... Sadly, I think we all know the answer - hence, another test!  Praise God that He is faithful, even when we (I) struggle with these kind of things!  He is so worthy of our (my) trust!  

A couple funny stories...  When I was talking on the phone shortly after getting some "bad" news - Shayli (my 11 year old) overheard me saying through tears that "they" were going to "put me to sleep" and that I wouldn't be able to see Ezekiel.  When I hung up, she was crying.  After a little probing, I found out that she thought "they" were going to kill me (like when you put an animal to sleep)!  So sad, but so funny!  I ensured her that wasn't what I meant and explained the process.  Then today, Tom brought 4 of the kids up to see me (and Ezekiel).  I was in the shower when they got here.  Levi (5 years old)was so excited, he ran in the bathroom, yanked back the curtain and just stared at me, then ran out!  Apparently, he came out saying "Mommy has braces in her tummy" (the 44 staples)!  Then, I showed Judah (my 2 year old) my "boo-boo" hopefully encouraging him to be gentle around it... And he just stared wide eyed.  Then he said - "is that your diaper?"  We all cracked up!  I am wearing a "maxi pad" as protection and padding over my stomach.  I love my kids!  They make life fun!

So... I have been discharged from the hospital as of about 7 tonight.  I am now "boarding" as a guest and will stay just a couple doors down from NICU until Ezekiel is released!  It won't be long now!  I stand amazed - in complete awe - of the happenings in the last 6 days!  Never did I expect such an incredible outcome! Yet I KNEW with everything within me that God was/is bigger then all of this "mess" that He has brought such beauty from!  I am honored and humbled to be part of His plan to show Himself to be Lord of all!  

Here are a couple pictures from today!  Love and blessings and much thanks!!!!

I'm so in love <3

I feel like a kid in the candy store!!!  I am so enthralled and madly in love with my newest little gift from God!  His little personality is starting to show as he is starting to "feel" better, and he is soooooo stinking cute (he looks just like Daddy)!  Knowing that he is my last baby (biological at least), makes me want to soak in every second of babyhood!

I've been able to hold him twice a day, but last night there was a turning point!  Every time I held him before, he was still "stressing" over the noises in the room, movements, etc.  but last night was different.  He was crying when I got there - even with all his "issues", he knows when its time to eat, and doesn't like to wait for it - but immediately calmed down when he heard me.  We talked (Ezekiel and I), while the nurse got his feeding ready, and he just stared at my every move, perfectly content.  Once I got him skin to skin, all his "vitals" stabilized!  The nurse saw it too and allowed me to "kangaroo" him for 3 1/2 hours!  The alarm kept going off, but this time it was because his oxygen saturation was too high!  The nurse had to keep lowering his oxygen level until he was almost on room air by time I left!  His respiration and everything else stayed stable also!  God is so good!  I was just telling Him (God) last night (before my little visit with Zeke) that I am so thankful for the miracles surrounding this whole thing, and I don't want to complain, but (I sound like one of my kids) it is so hard to watch my baby suffer!  He gets it!  He understands that mamma heart thing!  My verse this morning (comes thru my phone) was "Wait for The Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for The Lord" Psalm 27:14.  OK, Lord, I will wait for your perfect timing, but thank you for letting me see my sweet little angel baby respond and improve so quickly!

Today was a big day! They removed his IV, stopped giving him lipids, and had him on room air most of the day.  The upped his feelings (he always seems to be hungry) and is much more tolerable of his diaper changes, noises, etc!  I got to hold him 3 hours again this morning and am getting ready to go back again!  Feeling the favor!

I am doing good also.  Still having some bowel movement issues (sorry TMI), but it is kinda a blessing in disguise because it is keeping me here!  My pain is much better - still sore, but tolerable, even when I'm running low on pain meds.  My hemoglobin was down to 8.8, so that is something else they want to keep an eye on (it was 10.4 after surgery).  

The rest of the family are enjoying themselves and all the friends, company, and food!  I've heard that a few of them (won't mention any names) are taking advantage of "getting away" with lots since mom is not there!  Tom and Dakota (and I) are incredibly grateful for all the help!  And I have enjoyed all my visitors, calls, and texts!  Thank you again!  You have been the hands and feet of Jesus during this time!  

Update on Ezekiel

Ezekiel is quite the little character!  He enjoys the calm and quiet of his little isolet (his little plastic temporary home), but has a hard time dealing with "normal" newborn stress.  His oxygen drops and his respiration and heart rate excellerate when they change his diaper, open his isolet to feed him, or handle him in any way.  It is so sad to see!  He responds good to my voice - and will generally settle pretty quickly when I talk to him, so I am trying to be there each feeding (that's the only time they "mess with" him cause they want him to rest and recover).  

I've gotten to "kangaroo care" him 4 times now, and I'm going back at 8 tonight!  It is the highlight of my days (and his as well)!  If there is a lot going on in NICU (other babies crying, machines beeping, Tom talking) then his stats tend to drop again - even while I'm holding him.  Poor little guy needs to get used to lots of noise and action!  Please pray that his little spirit calms down (he's been through a lot the past couple weeks in utero and his sensitivity is understandable) and that the love of God would just envelope him and make him feel safe and secure!

I am feeling pretty good!  My pain is much more tolerable (as long as I don't let my pain meds lap) and I am walking, showering, getting in and out of bed, etc. on my own.  Praise God!  I am also starting to get a little bit better supply of milk in, where they are only having to supplement a little bit each feeding!  They took me for x-rays this morning, thinking I may have a bowel obstruction from the surgery. Without going into too much detail, that can be an area of specific prayer!  

Also, please pray for Ezekiel's lungs to continue to heal and perform!  Thank you all for the delicious food you've been providing for my family and the child care!  The kids have been having a blast... Which makes my heart happy!!!  

God will continue the "good work" that He began!  Strengthen my boy Lord!