White flag

I've been admitted to the hospital and am getting settled into my "pin cushion" position!  My nurses are super sweet and I've already had many tests run... Not even sure what they are all for, but am glad that everyone seems to be on the "preventative" side and are trying to get everything ready for tomorrow.  I have a nurse that will be my "guide" nurse and be with me pretty much all the time the next 3 days.  They IV's they put in are huge tubes - with huge needles!  Ouch!  That way they can push blood in faster through many "sites" should the need arise.  They also asked to what measures they should take to keep me alive (I said any and all... please) and had me sign a million forms about the same kinda stuff.  It's a little nerve wracking, but I know I am in good hands!

I wrote all that this morning and a lot has happened since!  After another "team" meeting today, the doctors have decided to split my surgeries between tonight and tomorrow morning, so my first surgery is in 30 mins!  They are doing the urology parts of the surgery tonight under spinal (instead of general) which is an answer to prayer!  The longer baby in under general anesthesia - the worse it is for him and the longer recovery for him.  By splitting the surgeries up, they should be able to have baby out within 15 -30 mins of going under general anesthesia!  Praise God!!!  

I have met soooo many amazing people today, and they are all set and ready with an incredible plan...covering all bases!  I've had nurses come in and say that I am the talk of the whole hospital - and that they've never seen a surgery as meticulously planned out!  It's a little eerie... And I don't like the "spotlight" but feel the love and favor of God on every aspect of this journey!  My nurse that is staying with me the whole time tomorrow is a Christian and sooooo super sweet!  She said "Just have the faith of Nik Wallenda - and keep your focus on Jesus - you will be fine!"  I pray that God would give me faith like that!  I believe all will be well in the end, but I want to believe for miracles and "beyond" well!

Last night was incredible as we did a family Bible study and prayer time and each of the kids prayed for me and Ezekiel.  Their prayers were so tender and full of faith!  Oh, how I love my family - and love the spiritual growth I have already seen through this trial!  They are experiencing the love of God, service of the body of Christ, and seeing prayers answered right before their eyes!  Glory to God!

I had a hard time sleeping last night.... But God was faithful with songs on my heart again!  I sang "I raise my white flag, I surrender, ALL to you" over and over again - feeling freedom come more and more with each verse!  What a relief to surrender it all - He's got it all under control anyways!  I have also had the song "whom shall I fear" in my head for weeks... The lyrics are incredible and I'll add them at the end of this post, so you can agree in prayer with me!

Israel and Judah have both been sensing that something is going on and have been a little clingy and needy.  It is so hard to see them so insecure.  Judah woke up in the middle of the night and crawled onto the couch with me saying "I wanna lie wit you".  He's never done that before.  I held him and wept (while singing) for well over an hour (2a.m.)!  I just kept thinking - tomorrow night I won't be here if he wants to"lie wit me" (not thinking long term, but I'll be at the hospital)!  It's incredible how my perspective has changed!  Squishy (Israel) just wants to sit, climb on, cuddle, and pinch me ALL the time!  So sweet!  And I've enjoyed just sitting and enjoying all of them!

So... This is probably my last post for a couple days.  Elaine and Dakota are going to keep it up while I am recovering.  I am forever grateful for your prayers and support!  You have all been an incredible blessing to me and my family!  I am standing with you and believing for an amazing testimony to come from all of this!  To God be the glory!!!

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, THAT YOU MAY PROCLAIM THE PRAISES OF HIM who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light!  1 Peter 2:9

WHOM SHALL I FEAR LYRICS  BY: CHRIS TOMLIN
You hear me when I call
You are my morning song
Though darkness fills the night
It cannot hide the light
Whom shall I fear?

You crush the enemy
Underneath my feet
You are my sword and shield
Though trouble linger still
Whom shall I fear?

I know who goes before me
I know who stands behind
The God of angel armies is always by my side
The One who reigns forever
He is a friend of mine
The God of angel armies is always by my side

My strength is in Your name
For You alone can save
You will deliver me
Yours is the victory
Whom shall I fear?
Whom shall I fear?

And nothing formed against me shall stand
You hold the whole world in Your hands
I'm holding on to Your promises
You are faithful
You are faithful